


The Aftermath

by FranklyMrShankly



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Breakups, M/M, Mental Illness, Oneshot, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 14:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5629654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FranklyMrShankly/pseuds/FranklyMrShankly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's secondary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Aftermath

Gerard sat on the couch, speechless, spoon halfway to his mouth, when Frank entered the living room. He was standing in front of Gerard with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder and the hard case containing his beloved guitar in his other hand. 

 

“Where are you going, Frankie?”

 

“I’m leaving,” he answered, his voice void of almost all emotion. 

 

“I gathered that, baby. But where to? Is there a tour starting today? I know I’ve been spacey lately, but I could have sworn that you had a few more weeks before…”

 

“I’m not going on tour, Gerard.” Frank said with a sigh dropping his duffle and scrubbing his hand over his face. “I’m leaving this. I’m leaving you.” 

 

Gerard’s eyes grew large and his spoon fell back into his cereal bowl. “You’re… you’re breaking up with me?” Tears prickled behind his eyes and he bit his lip, waiting, afraid, for Frank’s response.

 

“I don’t know. I guess.” 

 

“You guess?”

 

“Yeah,” Frank mumbled. “I just… I can’t do this anymore.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“This. You. It’s like living with a ghost. You’re hot and you’re cold and you go for weeks and barely even acknowledge me. I try to communicate with you and give you affection, and you brush me off, and then weeks later you’re practically smothering me. Overcompensating. It feels insincere.”

 

“Frank… I…”

 

“I’m sorry. Gerard, I just can’t take never knowing where I stand with you. I love you so much, and sometimes it just feels like we’re strangers sleeping in the same bed. We haven’t had sex in a month. You won’t even kiss me!”

 

“Frank, I love you. I’m sorry if I’m off…”

 

“Off?” Frank scoffed. “Off is a bad day. A bad week… You’ve been doing this for months. I don’t know what the fuck I did, but it can’t have been this bad. You won’t even talk to me. I love you, Gee, and I’m tired of feeling like you don’t love me, too.”

 

Gerard sat still for a moment, the tears in his eyes making it hard for him to see his boyfriend in front of him, nearly crying himself. He had been trying so hard, really, but work was busier than ever and he couldn’t seem to make himself function. He hadn’t even realized it was bothering Frank. He was such an idiot.

 

“I’m off my meds, Frankie…”

That was not the reaction Frank had been expecting. “No, you’re not! I pick them up at the pharmacy for you when I pick mine up. The bottle gets emptier and emptier, just like always… you’re not… I mean… what?”

 

Gerard frowned, “I don’t like the way the make my head feel empty. I’ve been tossing one pill each day into the toilet. I thought I could be okay without them. Like the noise isn’t as bed as the silence. I guess I haven’t been handling it as well as I thought… Please don’t leave me. When you’re around the noise is so much better. It’s not the static. It’s like… you. It’s Frank noise. It’s how I’ve been keeping myself calm.” 

 

“Calm? Baby, you’ve been acting like a fucking zombie. I thought I’d done something… I thought you didn’t love me.” Frank put his guitar case down, too, and then sat next to Gerard, moving his cereal bowl. “You can’t just stop taking them, honey. You have to wean yourself off of them. And what if you’d had another episode? What if you’d hurt yourself? Gee, I wouldn’t have known. I can’t lose you like that. I don't want to lose you at all.”

 

“But you were going to leave…”

 

“Because I thought you didn’t love me, anymore, you dolt! Not because I didn’t want to be with you anymore or because I didn’t care what happened to you. Let’s call your doctor, okay? We need to get you an appointment, soon. Get you back on your meds.” Frank smiled and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead. Gerard didn’t hate him! 

 

“No, Frankie,” Gerard said. “I really do hate the way they make me feel.” He didn’t want to lose Frank, but he didn’t want have that weird, void-like feeling. It was too bad he couldn’t have Frank around 24/7. Frank put him in that happy haze that made the medication seem unnecessary… so he’d thought. 

 

“Well, we can tell your doc that! She can change your prescription or put you in more therapy, you don’t have to go without treatment. We just have to find one that works for you.”

 

Gerard really felt stupid then. “I’m sorry, Frank. I just… I thought I could handle it.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? That’s what I’m here for, you know. I’m here to support you and take care of you, just like you take care of me.” 

 

“I take care of you? Bullshit. I’m such a mess. I can’t really take care of myself.” Gerard said sadly.

 

“You take care of me when you hold after a long day at work or you kiss me when we wake up. You take care of me emotionally, Gerard, or at least you used to, before you decided to stop taking your mental health seriously. I don’t mind setting your alarms or remembering to order the groceries as long as when I come home, you’re there. As long as you’re with me and you love me. Everything else is just… secondary.” Frank leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend. 

 

“You’re not leaving me, then?” Gerard’s voice was small.

 

“No. No. I thought we were falling apart, not that you weren’t okay. Tell you a secret?” Frank smirked. Gerard nodded eagerly. “I wouldn’t have been gone for long. I was hoping that leaving might make you realize you really did love me. I can’t be without you.”

 

“I don’t need a reminder that I love you, Frankie. I guess I just needed a reminder that taking the medicines didn’t make me less of a person. It doesn’t make me more dependent. It’s just something I have to do.” Gerard beamed at Frank. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry, just be mine. We’ll fix the rest.”

 

“Easy. I’ll always be yours.”

 

“Likewise,” Frank grinned.


End file.
